Best Lesson. "off with their head"

having a birthday in jan, is pretty awesome for jan blues.

though it's post xmas accompanied by sweet visa bills...but it's still my birthday month!

So here i am 33yrs old in less than 24 hours.

Looking back at my most important lesson this year....

"off with their head"seems a little harsh or a lot harsh, let me explain:

I am prone to being a Worry Wart, wanting to make all parties happy, i exhaust myself trying to please everyone...now i realize the people that i was so worried about, the people or situations i put so much emotional energy into, they really don't care and that's cool. My bad.

So rule of thumb: if they don't care why do i?
Answer: simple, i want everyone to like me, all parties to be happy & no confrontation... ever.

not reality. so "off with their head" meaning forget about it, don't linger there, just move on.

I am a self confessed linger'er.
I like to draw out the anger, pain, complain even throw in a little blame:)
Why? i don't know it's the way i operate sometimes.

so this year,

is about Bliss and focusing in on the people and the things that bring me joy, life is too short to be a Worry Wart.

My formula for Bliss:

• moving
• be closer to my family and friends this year
• I am changing my job up
• cooking with Sir Jamie Oliver
• study, work at things i luv
• be an awesome wife and mom to be...soon i hope:)

33...Bliss Baby.

# 2 of Top Ten Must have's in 2012 - Your "Love Posse"

My Top 10 Must have’s for 2012

Dohaney Lov’in - Building Your Love Posse

#2 

We got love down. When it comes to my family, we may not be many things, however I believe we got love down. “Love” in my opinion is the best legacy to pass on.

The Dohaney love posse is a result of so many people, so many experiences: good and difficult. Some how the powers that be lead the nine of us together, something i am forever grateful for.

So for 2012 must have’s, build your Love Posse, David Wood says 

“you are the sum of the 5 people you spend the most time with, environment is stronger than will power” 

Who are people/person you can tell anything to and they have your best interest at heart always? 

Who can you let down your hair with and be totally silly? 

Ever time you think of them your heart is full? They are your love posse.

My Love Posse: 

Shout out to the people who made me who I am and who i love so much.

• grampie and gramie wenaus, they wore every hat with us kids, I carry a piece of them with me everyday.

• auntie Shelley & auntie Karen & uncle Richard: always there for us, like second parents, showed up just at the right time.

• grama marie. bonus love.

• Steve my future.

• My amazing mom and dad dohaney..they are the best parents, unconditional love always, the only language they know is love. 

• my sibs. Jay, Nic, Jackie, Kate, Steph John. no words can describe the tie i feel to them, i love them so much, it hurts to be away from them.

• to who ever is responsible for my lot in life: i am blessed. thx u for this life and love posse.

My Top 10 Besties...#1 - Must have's for 2012

My Top 10 Best List

#1 Best Book The Magicians Way by William Whitecloud, 

it’s interesting reading a book, feeling like every word was written for me.

a little peek into the book i call my “bible”

Seven Secrets of Magic

1. Your thoughts and feeling aren't real

they are an expression of your underlying assumptions in any moment, not a relection of actual reality or what is truly possible.

2. Your focus creates your reality

Your experience in life is determined by what you put your attention on. If you focus on end results you will inevitably attract what you want. If you focus too much on what you have to do to get what you want you end up attracting your doubts, fears and beliefs.

3. Everyone has a heart

Having a heart means you do have dreams, that there are things you love, things that are deeply important to you. An inherent part of the human journey is that at some point you end up putting more energy into protecting your heart than going for it.

4. There is never anything to do but always action to take 

"Action" is about taking direct steps, based on the obvious, towards creating what you want. "Doing" is about fullfilling certain conditions you believe necessary before you can get what you want. 

5. Structure has integrity

Something's structure dictates it's behaviour dictates its experience. In creative terms, what your attention is focused on forms the underlying structure in your consciousness. The motivation behind what you do in life revels your true focus.

6. You get your energy from a higher source. 

As a human being, you have the tendancy to develop fixed concepts about what is in your highest good and where it is suppose to come from. The key to magic is developing the ability to let go of your fixed concepts and open up to the true source of your energy.

This one is my fav...

7. It takes will

Ultimately, your highest source of energy is your own heart. Yet the Paradox is that you are conditioned to protect your heart, a behaviour motivated by fear. Your fears are communicated to you by thoughts and feelings. There can be no sustainable change in your experience of life unless you have the will to choose going for your heart over resolving your thoughts and feelings. 

hummm...

xo

M

My Sad Truth: Mis Representation

My Sad Truth: Miss Representation

Watch This First:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6gkIiV6konY

My Miss Representation

Today I want to take responsibility for my part in perpetuating this cycle. This letter is my sad truth & my commitment to be better.

A letter to “My Participation in Miss Representation”

I realize that most of my life I have struggled with looking good enough, basing my self worth, the direction of my day whether it’s going to be a great day or a crappy day purely on how i feel about my outward appearance.

People say, me included “oh it matters whats on the inside” true at heart, however in my culture, in my experience, that’s bull shit. I am about 100% sure that we women (or maybe just me) come up against at least one of the “Enoughs” everyday...

Am I ____ Enough? 

Check List.

• Pretty
• Skinny
• Happy
• Sexy
• Style/Clothes: Cool
• Hair
• Make up
• Skin
• Job
• a good daughter/sister
• a great friend

The sad cycle that takes place in my mind if I am “On” is almost a superiority...like dam i am prettier than... faster than...instead of gosh i feel great, it’s like a one up on others.

Worse: If i am “off”

If I am feeling my jeans are too tight, i have a break out, i ate too much, someone is better or prettier than me, or I am just having an insecure day, first I am laced with guilt for wasting my thoughts on such foolishness, .....and the truthful horrible part, I will tear other women down because in some crazy screwed up way it’s validating: i tear someone down, to feed myself an ounce of self worth. That is F%^&*( up.

This feeling pretty/good enough, has hindered every part of my life. Especially my relationships with the people i love the most.

Friends: you couldn’t be too pretty, i couldn’t handle it. So I never let anyone get too close.

My sisters: not wanting them to be better than me...(this was a hard one to write because I love these 4 women more then you could ever imagine) I remember my grade 12 prom my little sister Nic coming up to me and telling me how beautiful I looked, I couldn’t believe it, I was always so jealous she was/is so beautiful, she was/is always the bell of the ball. That comment was the best part of my night, for the first time I felt close to her in my teenage years, in that moment I decided to let her in...my own sister I kept at a distance because of my insecurities.

Health: I remember my mom telling me her jean size was smaller than mine: instead of celebrating her amazing accomplishment in weight loss: I became really insecure about food and my body and dabbled in bulimia for sometime. I couldn’t handle the idea of my mom being thinner then me. This has followed me for some time now, it’s something I don’t know will ever go away...but I have great tools to manage my emotional crutch I call food....

My Men: Jealousy. I was always undercover, on guard, I made up stories and would push these guys away or manifest what I was looking for. I was “Courage-less” to ask for what i really wanted because I was embarrassed, I wanted them to think I was this confident Super Women, which I am not at times. With Steve I am working on doing it right, talking to him even when I feel totally un cool.

All the above are for sure things that are a result of my past however I chose to believe and live into my insecurities, focused in areas of vanity instead of diving into my gifts, the activities and people i love. Apart of me feels i wasted a lot of time but I am making up for it now.

My commitment: I can catch my self in these cycles now, I had to change, or I would have let my insecurities push away everything I love. Everyday I work on the things I love to do that bring me joy, I work on being vulnerable and truthful. The goal I am focused on now is to laugh more:)

If one person can read this and start to make little changes...awesome.

Happy Confident Women = Confident Representation

Love to hear if you are a tich crazy like me...:) xoxoxoxo

Creating a new REPRESENTATION,

Michelle

Sept "Action Required"

Back to School

Back to You. 

Their is something about the Back to School season that inspires me to change things up, even more so than New Year’s. September for me is invigorating, the new morning chill in the air that whispers “Michelle it’s time to get off the beach...” 

September 2010 to September 2011 was a year of awesome and sometimes tough change:

• making great girlfriends
• bawling my face off at Nic and Bill’s place... x 10
• connecting with old friends and diving into my family
• breaking up
• moving out
• learning to enjoy my space
• taking posture: being true to myself
• taking responsibility for myself..yikes
• getting stood-up in Paris, jerk.
• committing to a new career that scared me
• falling in love and being smart about it....not “you complete me”  I discovered “I complete me”

&

• practicing being more present (started yoga)

A year of “getting back to me”, not that i want to ever go “backwards”, let me illustrate this...

Have you ever.....

Got lost in your work, and over time it defines you, if you weren’t working you didn’t feel “valuable”.

Got lost in your Family Responsibilities, your last on your list... The guilt of doing something for yourself or taking time for yourself when you know their is 10 other things on your “list” ....it’s just not worth it?

Got Lost in your Relationship it became a little robotic, your good business partners or good parents and friends....but are not making the time to nurture your relationship as a couple?

Well the above was pretty much me for a while...and I take full responsibility for that. 

Last September I decided to start making little shifts to get “back to” or move forward to what made me happy, and soon enough my life followed. I now have a rhythm to my life that was not their before.I believe it’s because I am now making choices not out of fear or obligation, but choices that make me feel happy, that are good for my heart.

For sure some tears, some heart ache with every Yin was a Yang...but so worth it, the little “stings” that change brought on wore away and I got stronger, more confident and happier. 

In the spirit of September and getting back into balance if your feeling a little off, I have a little gift for you inspired by my yoga studio I want to Gift  you/us a “30 days of getting back to you”

For the next 30 days, and everyday for 30 days, give yourself a gift, practice having fun with you, doing things you love.

Ideas:

• Listen to your favorite song, dance baby!
• Go for a walk, hike, bike, play some basketball, golf, volleyball, bowling, long run, slow/reflective nature walk
• Play Go Fish with your family, Drive in movie?
• Meditate, Watch a “chick flick”
• Skype with an old friend
• Shop or borrow a new scarf or piece of clothing
• Devour some ice cream, treats, cookie...in moderation:)
• Spa, sing, dance, snuggle up to a good book and a cup of tea, 
• Call a friend you haven’t made time for but want too, journal, stretch
• Scream “I LOVE U” really loud to your spouse, in the mirror to yourself or to your kiddes
• Write a beautiful post it note, email or even letter to someone to say thank you, or put a note in your kids lunch box:)
• Make your favorite dinner, better yet have your family make you dinner

........and so on. 

For 30 days everyday do something big or small and meaningful that you love, that serves you.

*What you will need for  30 day Challenge

A Calendar: Posted somewhere visible so you will see it everyday. Everyday write in your “for me”

I would love to hear what you doing “to get back to you”....you can Facebook me any time:)

Happy September

michelle leet-dohaney

www.happygirlsforlife.com

info@happygirlsforlife.com

Pema Chodron... Rockin My World

"The peace that we are looking for is not peace that crumbles as soon as there is difficulty or chaos.
Peace isn't an experience free from challenges, free of rough and smooth, it's an experience that's expansive enough to include all that arises without feeling threatened." Pema Chodron

amazing....

Victim Addiction......

The victim addiction

I find it astonishing and frustrating to see people I have known for years stuck in the same story they complained about 5 years ago. I like to call it the Victim Addiction. It’s like day time television drama, you can turn it on 2 years later and the same story line is still playing. 

My question is why don’t we chose to move on, what wallow in the old stories? In my non expert opinion: it gives us an excuse to play small, to not be courageous. 

Then I point the finger back to me, the lady on the pedestal. Oh yes it's actually about me, why haven’t I gone after my dreams fully? Why am I not being courageous?

 Well, it’s easy to make excuses, I can say “I don’t have the time because of David’s position” or “our lifestyle is too full already or I have to be available for the kids..which are all important things however in the words of Elaine “yadda yadda, yadda” Enough excuses.

 My truth is I have not gone for it because I haven’t had the courage to step up. I choose to perpetuate my half in half out loose commitment to keep myself safe. Fail proof.

As a result I am half satisfied and half struggling between going after my dreams and what I feel I am capable of and living into a story of regret, hiding behind the excuses.

Well now I am going for it. I have decided life is too short. I am 31.

What have I found so far - Being courageous for me is a daily practice. As my business is building and these beautiful women flow into my life , I am beyond greatful but still tested by my old stories.

 The No’s build my “How bad do I want my dreams” muscle and try to take me back to playing small and safe... I remind myself to Seize the Day, and I am worth it...and all us women are worth it. 

XOXOOX M